Christmas and more

Christmas 2008

It's fascinating how Christmas can be a time when we find it easiest to forget about God.

In buying presents, going to boxing day sales, visiting houses with elaborate and colourful lighting and decorations, attending gatherings, and even taking part in church activities, your mind is filled; there is no longer space for what is unseen, no opportunity to reflect, no time to quieten down and acknowledge God as God.

Our Christmas play this year was, in many ways, flawed and cheesy. Nevertheless, it was an important reminder to us all that Christmas is to celebrate the arrival of Jesus and the work he was about to begin on Earth. The day is not simply a tradition, a festival, a day off work, present giving and card writing time, or family time (although these are all good things to have). And most definitely, Santa, reindeers, elves and snow angels are not the focus of Christmas (although these in themselves are harmless too).

Counting blessings

At church we have an annual thanksgiving night at the end of each year. Indeed if you think hard enough, there are indeed many blessings to thank God for. I won't list them here. But to summarise, the best blessings for the year were hope and joy, whatever the circumstances. This was the song that reminded me of my blessings:

1) Day by day, and with each passing moment,
Strength I find to meet my trials here;
Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment,
I've no cause for worry or for fear.

He, whose heart is kind beyond all measure,
Gives unto each day what He deems best,
Lovingly its part of pain and pleasure,
Mingling toil with peace and rest.

2) Every day the Lord Himself is near me,
With a special mercy for each hour;
All my cares He fain would bear and cheer me,
He whose name is Counsellor and Pow'r.

The protection of His child and treasure
Is a charge that on Himself He laid;
"As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,"
This the pledge to me He made.

3) Help me then, in every tribulation,
So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,
That I lose not faith's sweet consolation,
Offered me within Thy holy Word.

Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,
E'er to take, as from a father's hand,
One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,
Till with Christ the Lord I stand.

Love: two choices

If you had two choices, would you rather:

1. A passionate, all consuming love like Heathcliff's; dramatic, with times of sweetness, times of bitterness and haunting pain.

OR

2. A selfless, good and constant love, like that of Mr Linton.

Wuthering Heights was one of those books that would sit on my bookshelf for years. I would attempt to read it from time to time, but never made it past the first page. But actually, it was a fascinating and engrossing story. Classics are classics for a reason.

On a side note, why are novels considered academic, and a more wholesome form of entertainment than say, movies and magazines? In the days before television, were these books, full of scandals and drama, not equivalent to today's soap operas?

Death

Is absolute, at least during our time on Earth. With long lost friends, there is the opportunity of reuniting with them somewhere, someday. With broken friendships, there is that possibility for repair, and at least the comfort of knowing their existence through mutual friends. Death though, means that your connection with that person has been cut permanently. And depending on your beliefs, you can wish that they can still hear you in heaven, that they are watching over you, or that you can reach them through some medium or spirit... but really, we know that they've crossed over to where we cannot follow (yet).

Death is powerful, confronting; and just when you think you've forgotten, it can tug at heartstrings you forgot you had.

It's sad to be reminded of your death by the family that you've left behind. But I think I want to remember. Remember your goodness, enthusiasm, fun and care. It's a pity I never got to tell you about my life at uni, about med, that I won't get to talk to you as an adult and as a friend. But I think your life has left lasting impressions, and your death has helped me to understand life better, and has brought the rest of our family closer.

Love always.

Circle

I know I've been writing a lot about aging... this is the last one for now!

A lot of us a repulsed by the idea of getting old. Incontinence, disinhibition (eg. socially inappropriate behaviour), immobility. Children don't have great bladder control, they do and say inappropriate things, and young babies aren't exactly mobile. Aging is like reverting to childhood, with limited memory, reasoning, abstract thinking.

Why do we find the same qualities so adorable in children and so devasting in elderly people? Why do we willingly look after babies, no matter how messy and naughty they are, but find it difficult to do the same for elderly relatives?

There are differences though. To have had that independance once, to have had that mental capacity, that ability to interact meaningfully with friends and family... to lose what you once had is quite different. Besides, babies grow out of it; to see children gradually attain physical, cognitive and social growth is one of the greatest pleasures of being a parent.

There was a time when I woke up early to see sunrise. I was shocked by how glaring and bright it was compared to the many sunsets I've seen. Mum commented that birth and death is similar. Indeed, babies enter into the world crying with all the might they can muster, and many elderly people slowly and quietly slip away.

Entropy - 2

It's inevitable. Your muscles start shrinking, bones undergo microfractures, the lens of your eyes gradually become thickened and the colour changes from clear to milky. Half of your smell and taste sensations are gone, the most mouthwatering dish becomes bland, ice cream is no longer sweet.

Even with the most careful diet, even without the risk factors of obesity and smoking, your risk of getting diabetes steadily rises. So does your blood pressure. Hypertension. To coronary heart disease, glomerulosclerosis, stroke.

Gradually your memory slips away. And you forget who you are. Even if you recognise your loved ones, you no longer feel a connection with them. Can't quite comprehend how they became, and how they are your children, your spouse, your sibling.

"Aging. And the only way you can avoid it is to die".

Entropy - 1

The most vibrant petal falls, decays.
The sturdiest building collapses.
Carefully carved candles are set ablaze.
Winter always overcomes summer.

The darkest hair turns white.
The smoothest skin scars.
The liveliest baby sleeps in a coffin.

Even the closest friends we forget.
Memory becomes a blurred silhouette.

From dust we came, to dust we return.

Thoughts triggered by the first line - where I saw these bright red petals scattered onto the muddy ground underneath the tree from which it grew.

The paradox

Do we carelessly toss what we have,
Then lament for what has been lost?

Only in turmoil is peace so dearly cherished,
And amongst tears that laughter so precious.

Does the same peace become monotony,
To which we forget to be grateful for?

Bound as brothers in storm; calamity!
Then becoming strangers in silence.