Vanilla, hazelnut, peach

For the first time since preclinicals, we've met regularly with our entire cohort. All the classmates who you thought you would never see again are back. Those who were once acquaintances become something more awkward than acquaintances. Last semester I met a classmate whom I used to sit next to from time to time in lectures. Being polite after a teaching session, I introduced myself and asked for her name before realising that it was the same girl with a changed hairstyle. Oops. Worse still, she answered my question with an unfriendly "names don't matter", or "it doesn't matter". We haven't spoken since.

Then again, these gatherings have also been great excuses for bubble tea catch ups. Vanilla and hazelnut aren't good flavours at Chatime. Peach is nice. It was refreshing hanging out and eating wherever, doing something spontaneous. It's been forever since I've sat on the floor at some public place and not cared how unladylike it looks. And awhile since my last superhero film. Action films make me feel sleepy. All those flashing lights, quick cuts between scenes, people running from impending doom, sparring warriors.

But coming back, I'm tired as I am every night way before it's bedtime. I suppose, at some point, we had to pay for last semester's months and months of free time, for sleeping in for more than half the week. I walk into my room and leave my shoes and coat anywhere, making small mountains here and there. The laundry basket is full and it's too late to do the washing. I realise I've only eaten home maybe once in the past week. I wonder when I will sit and read and pray, when I can write applications, when I will study. Not tonight. Ha, I seem to say that every night.

I write one lined diary entries, and the most recent one is dated but otherwise blank. I haven't touched the food blog. I haven't replied my grandfather's email. I haven't chatted with my cousin on instant messenger for ages. Neither have a bought a replacement tissue box for my bedside dresser. I haven't been to karaoke for awhile, though a few of my karaoke enthusiast friends have been wanting to go. Been eating tasty but not particularly healthy food, haven't walked the dog, gone for a run, played tennis or squash in awhile.

Why? Because there's trips to organise, pointless evidence to gather, applications, hospital information sessions, decisions, too many antenatal clinics and too low yield birthing suite shifts, church and fellowship, group socials, long lunches after church, other ongoing tasks we agreed to at a time when we didn't realise how commitments will snowball. Because the computer breaks down, backing up data and reinstalling the system takes time.

This is a bit exhausting. I haven't been particularly stressed for maybe, years.

But yes ironically, I drove for hours to a seaside town, and back the next day. I do go for lunches and brunches, and did watch a film today. And I did take half an hour or so to write this post.