Writing and speaking

I wish ideas for every letter flowed so easily, took as little time to write, as the one below. I didn't expect it to be such a time consuming task. It took me at least a full day of concentration, to write each letter. Full days of concentration are hard to come by, so that really means many days. Fortunately, I had less than a handful to write. I shouldn't be complaining. I chose to play this game. Also, I feel deeply for those international classmates students who are applying to >10 hospitals in this state, and more elsewhere.

Having a previous year applicant's letters in front me, I felt I couldn't send in a piece of writing (even if you substitute it with the relevant career aspirations, achievements etc) that wasn't "me". Is that arrogant? The letters were well constructed, they just weren't an accurate representation of the way I express myself. Then, although I complained about every hospital being similar in values education and support, I felt too dishonest to give the same generic praises in each letter. So that stopped me from copying and pasting paragraphs of text. When looking for something specific to say about the hospital, I found it hard to write down that I was interested in a education program, or specific specialty rotation, that I was actually not very interested in it. No wonder it took so long.

Same sentiments as the fake letter, but the product was very different. But even if I sound interested on paper I wonder if I can muster up any real interest in face to face conversation. I'd happily talk animatedly about B, but that's all. Monotonous, you need to be more interested, you mumble. What unfortunate but probably not untrue phrases people use. Pah, this discussion has taken us to dark and distateful territories. I don't feel like writing anymore.