Need a cover letter?

"Just see it as a way to test your acting / creative writing skills."

Dear most incredible hospital in the universe,

I am writing to apply for the internship position in 2013 with you. I care about patients, becoming a competent doctor, and having a good experience during my intern year.

However, I don't know what to write on this letter. I don't understand why you want me to regurgitate your values. Every hospital has similar values of excellence, compassion, respect, and teamwork anyway. Of course everyone is going to say that these are values they uphold - whether we do or not, you will find out in due course. Ha. Ha. Your information session came across as arrogant, elitist, and I don't care for your application process.  Your rotations are nearly the same as the other hospitals I'm applying to. You give the same spill about being supportive and providing great teaching. Why lie, I am apathetic about working with you and you are not even my first choice. However, I did not forget the abundant refreshments during your open day. This is a good sign of your generosity, and indicates that I will be well fed at your hospital. I am a very hungry person and food makes my world go round. You and I might actually make a perfect match.

Before you lose interest at my application... wait! I'm absolutely *amazing* and well rounded. I communicate well, and am both an excellent leader and team player. I've done a million extra things that I have no interest in to pad out my CV - conferences, volunteer work, committees, sporting, music and have even taken a course in rocket flying. I juggle my time so well that I have straight high distinctions and have worked full time, continuously, for 12 months, of at least 50 hours a week. I never sleep, I love waking up at 5am to go to ward rounds, I get a huge buzz from performing cannulations and writing discharge summaries. Don't you see? I'm a good doctor and I'm good at everything else. I am superhuman. So basically, I'm pretty amazing!

Okay, I stretched the truth. I'm not that amazing. And I'm terribly bored of writing this letter. I've run out of ideas. Oh here's one - you do employ some hot doctors driving fancy cars. I promise to come into work early so that I can spy on them early every morning. Alternatively, I can be enticed with a colourful breakfast of thick delicious yoghurt, croissants, raisin toast, cut fruit, tea and coffee. To conclude, my dearest hospital, it will be an absolutely incredibly unbelievable honour and delight to work slavishly under your rule. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Yours sincerely,

Very bored and insincere applicant

4 comments:

Ziph said...

lol, i know understand why u changed ur blog to private mode

Winnie said...

:D freedom of expression

enlightened0ne said...

That was hilarious. You should submit it... the HR person whose day just got made will definitely put you down as full marks!

Winnie said...

thanks :P the medical community is a bit small for me to send this as a joke to some hospital I don't really want to go to though... you guys are welcome to use it though ahahhaha

 

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