Last days

I have many weeks of thoughts to make up for - for my last days in S til now. My last two weeks following the completion of my report was busy with farewells and outings.


Serving and blessings
I thought I was doing a stranger a favour, a kind deed, being generous. I was reluctantly obeying God's commands not to show favouritism, in a manner often more condescending than loving. Yet I was encouraged, abundantly blessed and learned more from the friendship than I could have imagined or deserved. Later, we had an opportunity to serve in healthcare. I learnt more about seeing and loving people as God loves, and that was a time of great joy that reminds me of the verse:

"It is more blessed to give than to receive" - Acts 20:35

And to summarise what I learnt about people:

"You think the only people who are people, are the people who look and think like you. But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew you never knew." - Pocahontas


Being alone and friendships
Amongst other things, by the end of this year I've experienced watching movies alone and enjoying it, and eating alone many times and being ok with that (although I hated the feeling initially). But I still love good company.

Some say and I guess it's true that for most of the part in recent years, I've always had a close friend - or more honestly, a relationship in close proximity. Then there is always someone I would care for, spend time with, go visit places with, eat with. I heard a sharing once that singleness allows you to develop a deeper relationships with friends. Perhaps being quite alone here gave me the time and emotional energy to invest in, care for and pray for friends, fellowship people I meet and others around me.

Although I hated and despaired in the seasons of loneliness, I thank God for giving me a time to grow as an individual. It's only in the last few months were the ones where I began to love those at church, and got to know new friends through dance. It's funny (or unfortunate?) to realise that I possibly made more meaningful friendships S during that one year than my time in M. The "extra time" that I had this year but would not have had during semester in uni probably also contributed to this.

Sometimes I wonder if those friendships are different because people know that I won't be around - will some be less interested to get to know me? would some show more friendliness because I'm leaving anyway? I guess I won't find out haha.


Saying goodbye for now
It's sad to say goodbye, but I felt loved by the farewell gatherings during the last 2 weeks. Thank you friends at VCF, dance, Q, my host family, and other individual friends for all the farewells. And especially cards and notes because to me that's the best gift.

I find it disorientating to move into and out of people's lives constantly. It is indeed hard to stay in touch when you live far away. A friend commented that it's only a matter of time before we forget each other, haha how cynical, but it rings with some truth. But it's likely I will be back and we'll cross paths again.