Crazy

Background

Ezekiel was a man called by God to warn his people of the destruction and judgment that was to come. At this time, God's people were living in sin and disobedience. The rulers were misusing their power, the priests cared little about teaching God's law, the prophets lied about their visions. The people were leaving God for idols, taking bribes, stealing from one another, mistreating the needy, sleeping with their neighbour's wives, their daughter-in-laws, their sisters (Ezekiel chapter 22).

1. Attack a clay tablet

"...take a clay tablet, put it in front of you and draw the city of Jerusalem on it. Then lay siege to it: Erect siege works against it, build a ramp up to it, set up camps against it and put battering rams around it." - Ezekiel 4:1-2

The strange instructions were to be a warning to the people, presumably that Israel would be under siege.

2. Lying on one side without turning

"I will tie you up with ropes so that you cannot turn from one side to the other until you have finished the days of your siege." - Ezekiel 4:8

God instructs Ezekiel to lie on his left only for 390 days, and right only for 40 days, symbolising the years in which Israel and Judah will bear their sins.

3. Baking bread over human excrement

This was to warn Israel that they will eat defiled foods in the nations where they will be scattered. Ezekiel protests that he had never eaten unclean foods in his life, and God's response was:

"Very well," he said, "I will let you bake your bread over cow manure instead of human excrement." - Ezekiel 4:15

4. Lusting after the strong, handsome and powerful

"...she lusted after her lovers, the Assyrians - warriors clothed in blue, governors and commanders, all of them handsome young men, and mounted horsemen" - Ezekiel 23:5-6

God likens his people to two sisters, who shamelessly chased and prostituted themselves for other men, whilst he was their rightful husband. What a shocking allegory, with imageries of caressed bosoms, genitals which were like those of donkeys, and emission that were like those of horses (Ezekiel 23:20-21)! I cringe at even reading from the page; can you imagine having this allegory preached and explained one fine day at church?

5. Taking away life, for God's purposes

The craziest event yet. Ezekiel was carrying out what God had commanded him to do, and now, God tells him that his wife was to die. Immediately. Whilst the other events so far have been serious but so strange that it's almost amusing, this feels tragic and bewildering.

"Son of man, with one blow I am about to take away from you the delight of your eyes." - Ezekiel 24:16

Then, he is told not to mourn for her, in the customary way. Even more baffling, her death, and Ezekiel's response was to be a sign onto Israel for what will befall them. Faithfully, Ezekiel goes out and explains to the people the very next morning, how this was a warning for them.

Reading that, I feel quite sad, and troubled. Is it fair to take away a life of someone so precious to him to make a point onto a stubborn nation? Would I still follow God if something similar happened? How is it that Ezekiel did not give up in his ministry? I guess, he must have personally encountered God, and deeply understood who God was.

The crazy ways of God

It's tempting to ignore these quite bizarre stories of the Old Testament (by the way, The Bible Jesus Read is a helpful book in understanding what the Old Testament is about). But here, we see God's character for what it is - in loving patience, he calls on Israel again and again to turn away from idols, from sin, from a destructive way of life. In his holiness, God punishes and brings justice.

Ezekiel is given outrageous instructions, so that the prophet himself, in physical form and action, would graphically and loudly warn the people, about a judgment to come. God's roar is like that of a lion, which the people (and us also) would do well to fear and heed. Even knowing this, sometimes it still feels that God doesn't make sense, and what he says and does is craaaaaazy. Not to be irreverent though - he is creator, and sovereign, and as clay are not in the position to quarrel with the potter, neither will we quarrel with our maker, whose ways are above ours.

Psalms

1. What is this supposed to be about?

I used to avoid Psalms. That year, when I decided to read the Bible from start to end, I reluctantly and sleepily ploughed through it.

I couldn't understand what it was about. It was set in this faraway land of chariots and swords, wild beasts and deserts. It was repetitive and chaotic - all one hundred and fifty chapters seemed to be about David and others being constantly paranoid about their perhaps real perhaps imaginary enemies (was thinking about this a long time before I learnt anything about psych), then asking for their enemies to be crushed, and then moving between whinging about their fears and anguish, to random bursts of praise of how high God was, and how good he was to them. The praise and complaints were equally perplexing to me.

2. Poetry, and paintings with words.

Then one year, I read in a book that Psalms was loved for its richness in human emotions. So it was like poetry. Painting with words, and even with unfamiliar imagery, or events which are different to what we would encounter, the emotional landscape of the psalmists are what resonates with us, many centuries later.

So it was no surprise that I didn't like Psalms. I disliked poetry and literature for most of high school. Why waste so many words, write so elaborately, when it could all be so simple? Why waste time writing about war and love at all; and even if you have a message to the world, why not write in clear prose instead of confusing the poor students annotating your text with all this rhyme, rhythm, metaphors, alliterations and more. To me, it was so pretentious and unnecessary.

I guess rather unexpectedly, here I am often thinking about how to craft language, and jotting down many (what I would have considered to be) unnecessary words.

3. He was a writer!

During a sermon on a psalm of David last week, I thought about how this man of God, king of a nation, military commander, strong warrior, was also... a writer and harp player. How bizarre! What's more, his outpourings of feelings, his sins and repentance, his relationship with God, and references to life events, are deeply personal. Presumably, psalms were sung publicly, and not only written for his reflection alone. Can you imagine, a king's blog, or a leader making known his struggles and prayers to God?

In Psalm 55 we looked at how David cries out in fear and betrayal, then desires to "fly away and be at rest" (isn't that what suicidal ideations are about...). He cries out to God constantly, recalls God's justice, and finally concludes with, "but as for me, I trust in you".

In Psalms, the feelings of pain, hate, and fear are honestly expressed. Yet these emotions are dealt with alongside the remembrance of who God is - his greatness, holiness, love and faithfulness. One day I was trying to explain why I would take weeks to write stories for myself, and in answering, I realised that just as students draw mind maps to show how they arrived at what they learnt, written words can be a mental map of a journey, so that you don't have to start afresh, finding a new route every time. I think Psalms, parts of Job, and other such passages, are similar. They don't necessarily give an answer to why there is suffering, or provide a solution to our fears, but are a model or map for how to go about thinking, feeling and praying with the knowledge of God, in both troubled and joyful times.

It's good to know that words can be purposeful, and that writers need not to be indulgent narcissists or dreamers who toy with abstract ideas for the sake of it (I guess it depends on how you go about writing).

4. What did the old tunes sound like?

We went through a story in Judges in English class, and at the end of it, the teacher for that week got all of us sing the Song of Deborah to the tune of Australia's national anthem. Which was strange. The same words sung and spoken out loud felt different.



The words of Psalm 23 come alive so beautifully in a sung melody!

I love many songs, but find it particularly meaningful to meditate on lyrics which are closely based on scripture itself. How memorable are verses in a tune! Not being able to read much of the Chinese Bible (unfortunately), but in songs, I can recall 我要向高山举目 (Psalm 121) and 除你以外 (Psalm 73).

Another song I like (not in Psalms though) with lyrics almost directly taken from words of the Bible is Highest Place - amusingly, many time I can't read Philippians 2 without the chorus of the song playing in my head:

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name above all names
so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow
in heaven and on earth and under the earth
and every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord,
To the glory of God the Father.

Out of convenience

I was listening to Malachi randomly, at a timely time, on the drive that I sort of wish I didn't go on.

God's people (the Israelites) in Malachi's time failed to give tithe and offerings as required. They saw it as a burden. They knew the requirements of the law but saw nothing wrong with offering blind and lame animals to God, though they had acceptable animals in their flocks. They gave, but out of their convenience. Those animals couldn't have profited them much anyway. Or in Jesus' time, those who were giving out of their wealth - perhaps they were happy to drop in a sum each week, as long as it didn't hurt their lifestyles.

Do we obey God out of convenience?

I have been (am) struggling with how love comes at a cost. Perhaps it costs time when you could use for study, or petrol on a week where fuel prices are high, or significant damage to your personal belongings. Perhaps the cost is less tangible, but very real nevertheless. Less hours of sleep, maybe even insomnia. Not being appreciated, or the sort of friendship where you are only contacted out of the other person's convenience. How about when the person you are helping, in the same breath that they express their gratitude, shock you with how self centred they are. Maybe with something that is not even socially acceptable, akin to refusing a small favour such as, can you please pass the water from across the table.

Sometimes I think, maybe I'm nice you know, I do love my neighbours - thinking about how I can encourage this person, spend time with that person, help with someone else's needs, buy something good to share with another person. I love a little, while it's convenient. Until it costs me something that hurts. Then it turns to hate or pondering whether it is worthwhile to serve God. If this person is like that, why should I ever do anything for them. I wish I never noticed. I should have stayed home, then this would have never happened. God this is not fair, why did this happen when I am trying to be good to others?!

“You have said, ‘It is futile to serve God. What do we gain by carrying out his requirements and going about like mourners before the Lord Almighty?" - Malachi 3:13-14

I guess, when you read the whole story of Israel and how patiently God had loved and blessed the people with everything they had, it's ridiculous that the people would say that. But somehow, it sounds more reasonable coming from my own heart... but it's not.

So no, reality is that I'm selective, and give up easily, and don't love that selfless love much at all. A humbling reminder it is, of how none of us can be righteous before God by our own efforts, and how deeply we need to grasp God's love to continue loving. What a high calling Jesus gave and demonstrated, to love your enemies; and if your enemies, then surely your friends also!

(By the way, I always thought loving enemies was an oxymoronic statement, but perhaps what he was saying was, those who despise you as an enemy rather than those whom you despise as enemies.)

What is on your mind?

Philippians 4:8

Think about such things.

Shaping our thoughts by what is unseen and eternal, and a love for God.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. - Matthew 22:37

Lessons from Ephesians

 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. - Hebrews 4:12

Seasons pass, where reading the Bible and listening to sermons becomes a chore. During those times, I hear an exasperated voice say within, I've heard this so many times already, what can I possibly learn from hearing it again? Yet, seasons come when it's fascinating to study God's words, even if we are going through the same handful of chapters, for months and months. During these times, it's a delight to discover the depth of God's word, and amazing to hear each day, a living truth that we would do well to take to heart.

Some lessons and ponderings from Ephesians, mostly from this week's studies.

1. Knowing Christ

"You, however, did not come to know Christ that way." - Eph 4:20

What does it mean, to know Christ? What did it mean earlier in the letter, when Paul prayed for the Ephesian church (who were obviously Christians already) to know God better?

It's more than hearing, or even believing, that he exists. One of our speakers put it as, the difference between knowing about someone, and actually knowing them, personally.

2. Deceitful desires

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires..." - Eph 4:22

Deceitful because, it can be an innocent desire itself, but become corrupt as it overshadows or distracts our focus on God. Deceitful because, sometimes even we have difficulty seeing the layers of good and pious reasons we give for something that is essentially self serving.

Apparently there is a hymn, "prayer is the soul's sincere desire". And the challenging question is, what do you pray for in your quiet moments before God?

3. New attitudes

"to be made new in the attitude of your minds..." - Eph 4:23

For myself, it's interesting to see that in very real ways, knowing God has brought me new attitudes and desires that are quite distinct from my original self.

Also, I liked the study guide question - what are you doing to renew your mind in Christ?

4. Holiness is not a mystical state

"and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness" - Eph 3:23

Holiness is more than something that just happens where we become crowned with a halo, wear white robes, stand with a calm but solemn expression, and have sun rays shining upon us! Living out holiness involves taking off our old self, and putting on our new selves, which requires practical actions, and our active participation.

5. Consider needs of others

"and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us..." - Eph 5:2

All the practical examples Paul gave from 4:25 to 5:4 in regards to living out holiness, can be summarised by living a life of love which puts others before ourselves - for example, practicing unity in the church by being slow to anger and forgiving one another. Or, building others with the words we say. Godliness isn't practiced in isolation.

6. Being very careful

"Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise..." - Eph 5:15

This is my last point because I can read the passages every day, listen to the sermons every week, and discuss it in Bible study twice a week. But, every day, I want to pursue my own desires without stopping to evaluate whether that is in line with what God desires. Every day, out of boredom, jest, spite, carelessness or, in particular, in anger, I speak (or write, ha) words which neither build up nor benefit those who listen.

Beware, be intentional, because it doesn't come easily or naturally to live wisely. Thank God, for being gracious towards us.

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions - it is by grace you have been saved. - Eph 2:4-5

On false peace

A few weeks ago I was in a conversation, where a friend was speculating about afterlife, and what it entails. I wasn't sure what to say. It wasn't an appropriate time to articulate my views on the topic, yet I couldn't simply agree with what was said either.

How tempting it is, to only speak of God's great love, omitting an aspect of his character which is just as important - his holiness. Yet, by doing so, are we not leaving out an essential piece of the gospel, the good news? For what is so amazing about grace if there was no judgment.

Reading Jeremiah, I have been struck by how Jeremiah repeatedly speaks of judgment and then a time of peace and restoration, in contrast to the many false prophets of his time who declared peace, without acknowledging the judgment of Judah which was to come first.

So do not listen to your prophets, your diviners, your interpreters of dreams, your mediums or your sorcerers who tell you, 'You will not serve the king of Babylon.' They prophesy lies to you that will only serve to remove you far from your lands... - Jeremiah 27:9-10

For example, in Jeremiah 28 there is a prophet called Hananiah who takes a yoke off Jeremiah and breaks it, falsely declaring that the Lord had revealed to him that the rule of the Babylonian kingdom will be broken within two years.

Then the prophet Jeremiah said to Hananiah the prophet, "Listen, Hananiah! The Lord has not sent you, yet you have persuaded this nation to trust in lies. Therefore this is what the Lord says: 'I am about to remove you from the face of the earth. This very year you are going to die, because you have preached rebellion against the Lord.' " In the seventh month of the same year, Hananiah the prophet died. - Jeremiah 28:15-17

The false prophets were harshly rebuked for proclaiming a message of peace without judgment, and for opposing God's message of judgment through Jeremiah. In agreeing that there is no judgment, but that afterlife is a beautiful place of rest, am I not giving a message of false peace that is not from the Lord? But what else can I possibly say, without being insensitive?

It is also unsettling just how unpopular Jeremiah's message was, resulting in hatred from the general populace to officials and religious leaders, resulting in his imprisonment and various murder plots directed against him. I suppose it's not just our generation which tolerates a message of love, but finds the message of judgment offensive.

Community and clique - part one

I wrote this in March after attending an annual camp with my favourite church. Perhaps most of them, being at least double or triple my age, have grown in maturity and love for God, for their neighbours. What an inspiring example!

Recently, in my M church, the speaker talked about how we share meals with those we love. And how the pharisees must have felt when Jesus was eating and laughing with those who were considered sinners, outcasts, of the community in his time.

When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. - Matthew 9:11

There are many things to learn here about God's love and mercy, our self righteousness and tendency to judge others. But here is also a mirror of how we close the doors of fellowship with those we feel uncomfortable around. Maybe they sometimes say inappropriate things, their sins seem greater than ours; or maybe they aren't as educated, not as smart, give "weird" answers in Bible study, not well dressed, aren't pretty enough, don't speak fluent English, have accents, different skin colours, different background, too senile, too childish, to be a part of our comfortable social circle.

My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favouritism. Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? ...If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,”you are doing right. But if you show favouritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers. - James 2:1-4, 8-9

Say I was a guy (because guys are normally superficial, so are girls to be honest, but less obviously so) and showed special attention to the pretty single female, slim, a lovely dress and expensive handbag, just the right amount of makeup, perfectly permed hair and manicured nails, and from the same country as me.  Then I ignore the slightly awkward guy, who doesn't dress fashionably, standing in the middle of the crowd by himself, and worst still, talks like a "FOB" (fresh off the boat for those who are kind enough not to use the word). Is that loving my neighbour? Or is that like the pharisee trying to pick the neighbours he'll show love to by asking, "who is my neighbour?" Not to mention, are you getting side tracked about why you're attending church or fellowship?

In S I really learnt what it meant by "it is more blessed to give than to receive" - Acts 20:35

Dreams - part 2

Sometimes I ask myself whether God speaks through dreams. Certainly, we have accounts of God speaking to Belshazzar the king in Daniels, we read of the prophetic dreams Joseph "the dreamer" had, the dreams he interpreted for Pharaoh's servants, and even in the New Testament, the wise men were warned in a dream to go back to their country via a different route to avoid Herod, who wanted to kill Jesus.

Although I'm sure God still speak in dreams, in visions, through signs and miracles, it is sort of worrying and suspicious when someone is always claiming to be hearing directly from God. I was given a book after my baptism called "Conversations with God" - it reads as a Q&A not unlike the conversation the humans in Prometheus hoped to have with their "Engineers". Though certain sections correlated well with the Bible, and it was very appealing to have direct "answers" from God on the difficult questions of life, it probably didn't belong in a Christian bookshop. Also, after hearing a few psychiatric patients speak of bizarre end of the world theories, claiming to be special persons in God's plans, we have reasons to be extra cautious.

The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. - 1 Kings 19:11-12

When we make a decision, want to understand our purpose, when we want to know whether God is really there or not, we want something spectacular, extraordinary, and preferably instant. "God, show yourself to be real!" or "what choice do you want me make?" I had asked, and was often disappointed with the lack of dreams, writings on the wall, special encounters, or even a warm tingly feelings inside. Oh well.

God can choose to come in powerful earthquakes and blazing fires, but he can also speak gently and quietly, in ordinary ways. Ordinary is not better (or worse), but it is often what we neglect when we want to hear from God. Maybe because it's not very impressive, and takes long term effort on our part to diligently read the word, understand the Bible, pray, attend church, fellowship with others, seek counsel, have God as our priority in everyday things, and live in constant obedience to him. Yet, the ordinary ways are what we can reliably turn to every day, and what we need to be familiar with to recognise God's voice should he choose to speak through dreams and visions. And it is also what we need to run far away from false voices.

When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” - John 10:4-5

Bearers of bad news

Earlier in the week it was about breaking bad news in a medical context. On Sunday, it was about prophets being bearers of bad news for God's judgment.

Previously in Amos, we've studied the imagery of God as a roaring lion, warning his people of impending destruction because of their sins. In Amos 7, God gives Amos a series of visions indicating judgment and destruction, and Amos had the task of warning the Israelites.

Prophets were often bearers of bad news. As the preacher pointed out (and as our aged care tutor pointed out), nobody likes to bear bad news. The prophets themselves were often reluctant to carry out the task. When Moses was asked to lead Israel out of Egypt, he said, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue." (Exodus 4:10). Similarly, when Jeremiah was appointed prophet to Judah (southern kingdom, Israel the northern kingdom had already been destroyed), he said “I do not know how to speak; I am only a child.” (Jeremiah 1:6).

What was the response of Israel's priest to the news of judgment to come? Amaziah the priest twisted the words of Amos, slandered the prophet, and reported to the king that Amos was raising a conspiracy against the king. He then said to Amos, "get out, you seer! Go back to the land of Judah. Earn your bread there and do your prophesying there." (Amos 7:12). Oh dear, preaching judgment is unpopular. Would you be offended if you entered a church which preached the bad news - that all will face God's judgment for sin, which will determine if you will inherit eternal life or eternal death?

How about the picture of the holy and wrathful God throughout the old testament who punishes nations with plagues, deaths, destruction, for their sins? Or the same God in Acts, who struck Ananias and Sapphira dead when they lied about how much of their profit they were donating to the church? When we think about "the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord," (Romans 6:23) do we fast forward to Jesus' love, and not pause to reflect on how seriously God views sin? I do, often. How important is it to be "saved" when we as the church, are reluctant to tell you about the death you're being saved from?

The old testament God is unreasonable? Would you then happily attend a church which offers blessings, prosperity, an easy solution to all your problems? "God wants you to be promoted! Amen!" (true account from a classmate). Is the God you believe in gentle, meek, forgiving, essentially good? Sin doesn't really matter to him... or does it?

This is what the Lord Almighty says:
“Do not listen to what the prophets are prophesying to you;
they fill you with false hopes.
They speak visions from their own minds,
not from the mouth of the Lord.
They keep saying to those who despise me,
"The Lord says: You will have peace.’
And to all who follow the stubbornness of their hearts they say,
‘No harm will come to you.’ - Jeremiah 23:16-17

It's easy, and popular to preach the "good" news. When we were on holidays after high school, I flipped through one of the books mum bought - Joel Osteen's "Your Best Life Now". I remember reading a few paragraphs and thinking, this doesn't sound right. Later I saw that it was a bestseller in the local book shop - how unusual for a Christian book, I thought. I don't have a copy of the book personally, but it's easy to go online and see extracts from the book:

The Scripture promises: “All things work together for good to them that love the Lord.”  If you love God, he’s working life to your advantage, and it will all work out for your good... At first, it didn’t appear that we were going to be able to find a place to park. A half dozen cars were circling the parking lot, waiting for somebody to back out so they could pull in. I was having a good time, cutting up a bit with my family, so I said to everybody in the car, “You watch Daddy. I’m going to get a front-row parking spot. I can just feel it. I’ve got the favor of God all over me!” On and on I went, really making a big deal about it. Then, to everyone’s surprise, just as I steered our car past the front row of parked cars, another car backed out as I approached. It was almost as though we had timed it perfectly; he pulled out, and I pulled right into the open spot. I hardly had to slow down. Better yet, it was the premier spot in that parking lot. (See more.)

Really, can Christianity solve my parking problems forever? Do you know what all things working together implies? Good times, bad times, joy, suffering, laughter, mourning, blessings, persecutions. Yes, God can plan something as small as giving you a parking lot in a particular time and place, should it be his will. But we're not to "name it and claim it", wrongly assuming that it is his will. I've read a similar book that I promptly took to the recycle bin after reading halfway. It was on promises of supernatural physical healing for everyone. In that case, we will never need to see a doctor, never need to be on tablets, never even need to buy a grave site. God can and does heal, and we are to pray for all our concerns, including those about our health. Yet, can we look at examples of healing and deliverance in the Bible, claiming that for ourselves and ignore the suffering and death of say, John the Baptist, Stephen the martyr, or even Jesus himself? I also wish for a smooth life with no sickness or pain - that would be lovely, but believing in God of the Bible doesn't guarantee that at all.

Bad news and those announcing judgment, destruction, suffering are unpopular. But this is as much part of the Bible as the good news is. For those who do believe in the Bible as the word of God, let's be prepared to hear the truth (not the things our ears are itching to hear), and share the gospel message faithfully (not thinking that we need to change it to make it more palatable).

Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. - 2 Timothy 4:2-4

Love and hate

"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." Matthew 5:44

I hate with intensity. I hate those who hate me, the liars and cheats, those who bask in or misuse their power, the unjust, those who are selfish and cause problems in my life, the two faced individuals who pretend to be a friend but are gossipers. Praying for my enemies - a fellow believer prayed that the person would know God and be saved, and I paused for a long time wondering if I could say amen with sincerity. If Jesus, in his life, dealt with people worse than these individuals, I can't imagine what motivation there would be to love.

The Pharisees hated him, were jealous of his miracles and popularity that they even tried to kill the man Jesus raised from the dead. The Pharisees were self important, love to be praised for their piety, but really, they were hypocrites who loved money and power.

Then, there were his disciples who didn't understand who he was, or what he came to do after being by his side everyday for three years. Worse, one was disappointed that he didn't come to establish an earthly kingdom, and sold Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. The others fell asleep when Jesus asked them to pray for him before he was executed, and ran away, even openly denied to have known Jesus, because they were afraid to be associated with him. Good friends to have, aye?

There was the crowd, by the influence of the religious leaders, hated him, mocked him, and wanted him to be whipped and crucified. Pilate, the judge who knew that Jesus was innocent, but wanted to keep his job and the crowd happy at the expense of a man's life. And finally near his death, the insulting thief who taunted and challenged him.

Is it for people like this (and the people I hate) that Jesus came to Earth, to live and die for? What did God see in these people? If I had every authority to judge, like the disciples I would call on fire upon the people who treated me unfairly, and strike them to their destruction. Make sure they had the humiliation and punishment they deserved. Meekness and majesty.

O what a mystery
Meekness and majesty
Bow down and worship
For this is your God

It's easy to see their failings but I guess, we've also hated you God, hated each other. Like the Pharisees, aren't we often more concerned about feeling good, and having a good status in society, even in church, rather than being devoted to God or caring for the poor? Doesn't our jealousy for the talents of others lead to hate and snide remarks? Like the disciples, how easily is it for us to claim to know Jesus but quickly exchange him for other priorities of this world? Faced with death, would we also deny our God? Like the crowd, doesn't our society also mock God and make all sorts of disrespectful jokes about him? Given the same situation, maybe we would have easily been the unlovable characters.

Surely, it's love that prompted him to respond with patience and forgiveness in life, and an offer of eternal life in death.

"This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." - 1 John 4:9-10

How about my hate? I try, and ask for help. Try to remember how Jesus loved. That judging others, I will also be judged. That I can't say I love God and "curse men, who have been made in God's likeness". That love is a command. Today I read ODJ and came across an article on forgiveness - praying "as we have forgiven those who sin against us" (Lord's prayer) is an implicit prayer for God not to forgive us, if we harbour unforgiveness.

Roar of the lion

You are taking a leisurely stroll, or a trek through tough wild terrain. Suddenly you see a hungry lion in front of you. He opens his huge jaws with a roar, baring his teeth, how would you feel? (No cheating, you're not a vet and you don't have access to any anaesthetic agents, no restraints, no cage, just the lion and you with your bare hands.)

"The Lord roars from Zion and thunders from Jerusalem..." - Amos 1:2

In Amos God is likened to a roaring lion. Israel at the time was prosperous, experiencing a time of peace and wealth. They had "beds inlaid with ivory" and dined on "choice lambs and fattened calves", strummed away on harps, drank wine "by the bowlful" and used the "finest lotions". They took pride and security in all that they had. They even conducted religious ceremonies, brought sacrifices and tithes; but they exploited the poor, ignored justice, and were corrupt. For their sins God warned that he was about to bring destruction and disaster on his people. Amos urged the people to heed God's warning. I find it strange that I have fear imagining a wild angry lion, or a terrible earthquake, but feel apathetic or dismissive about God's wrath.

The lion has roared - who will not fear?
The Sovereign Lord has spoken - who can but prophesy? - Amos 3:8

If God roared, how would you feel? What's our image of God? Pastors sometimes mention how churches today emphasise (overemphasise?) on the appealing qualities of God. The gentle Jesus, the forgiving Father, the all embracing, all accepting, all loving God. God of the Bible has great love, but also is holy, just, with fierce wrath against sin. Even in the New Testament, "the wages of sin is death".

God is untameable. Consider God's dialogue with Job:

Look at the behemoth, which I made along with you and which feeds on grass like an ox. What strength he has in his loins, what power in the muscles of his belly! His tail sways like a cedar; the sinews of his thighs are close-knit. His bones are tubes of bronze, his limbs like rods of iron. He ranks first among the works of God, yet his Maker can approach him with his sword. - Job 41:15-19

Can you bind the beautiful Pleiades? Can you loose the cords of Orion? Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons or lead out the Bear with its cubs? Do you know the laws of the heavens? Can you set up God's dominion over the earth? Can you raise your voice to the clouds and cover yourself with a flood of water? Do you send the lightning bolts on their way? Do they report to you, 'Here we are'? Who endowed the heart with wisdom or gave understanding to the mind? - Job 38:31-36

It's easy to picture the grandfather with a long beard, or the good natured Santa Claus - as some authors put it, a "safe" God. And incredibly difficult, in our society, in our time, to see God as God. Perhaps that's why I find it incredibly difficult to understand why Isaiah cried "I am ruined!" when he saw God seated on the throne, or why Moses and later the Israelites hid their face from God because they were afraid. Not being able to understand the great wrath of God, means I often can't grasp the full significance of the cross and the great grace it brings. Why would anyone feel excited about the good news of Jesus if they didn't see their sins, or if they didn't understand how a holy and just God views sin?

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. - Proverbs 9:10

The second crossing

The first crossing

But the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground, with a wall of water on their right and on their left. That day the Lord saved Israel from the hands of the Egyptians, and Israel saw the Egyptians lying dead on the shore. - Exodus 14:29-30

Everyone's heard of the Red/Reed Sea crossing. We even have the movie/cartoon/musical, the Prince of Egypt, with the Israelites escaping on foot and Pharaoh's chariots closely behind them. Then there is the dramatic scene where Moses splits the waters in two, allowing the Israelites to escape from the Egyptians, from slavery. But have you thought much about the second crossing?

The second crossing

Now the Jordan is at flood stage all during harvest. Yet as soon as the priests who carried the ark reached the Jordan and their feet touched the water's edge, the water from upstream stopped flowing. It piled up in a heap a great distance away... all Israel passed by until the whole nation had completed the crossing on dry ground. - Joshua 3:15-17

The speaker at OCF reminded us of the connections between the Israelites then, and Christians now. The first crossing symbolised the Israelite's freedom from slavery. Sin is often described as slavery, as something that lords over us. And I guess the experience is true - whether it's as obvious as drug addictions and pornography, or something more subtle like greed, lust or hate. Just as God rescued the Israelites, so we too, cross over from being slaves to sin, to being free from sin. That is, we are cleansed from our sins and no longer live in sin when we accept Christ's sacrifice for us.

Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey... what benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. - Romans 6:16, 21-22

The second water crossing led by Moses this time, signified entry into the promised land. Finally, after forty long years of wandering in the desert! In between the first water crossing out of slavery, and the second crossing into the promised land there were many years in the wilderness. Although the Israelites had experienced the power of God in the exodus, many grumbled against God, worshipped idols, and did not hold onto God's promise. God promised the Israelites the land of Canaan, an inheritance, yet it seemed that God had forgotten about the promise, and that it wasn't coming.

Now if we are children, then we are heirs - heirs of God and coheirs with Christ... - Romans 8:17

If accepting Jesus is the first crossing for Christians, the second crossing is the second coming of Jesus, the judgment day. The day feels like it will never come, we don't really understand the value of our "inheritance" (not land in this case, but entering into God's kingdom), and we easily forget the promise. Like the Israelites, we can accept Christ but never make it to the second crossing. We need to always remember salvation, but look ahead to what's coming too.

Who were they who heard and rebelled? Were they not all those Moses led out of Egypt? And with whom was he angry for forty years? Was it not with those who sinned, whose bodies fell in the desert? And to whom did God swear that they would never enter his rest if not to those who disobeyed? So we see that they were not able to enter, because of their unbelief. Therefore, since the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us be careful that none of you be found to have fallen short of it. - Hebrews 3:16-4:1

That means how we live in the meantime matters. We are to live in light of God's promise. And if we truly believe it, above all else our eyes will be fixed on eternal things, on walking and working for God. As the speaker put it, do we live in a way that says to God "I don't believe in your promise"?

My life is my own

"Few Christians are audacious enough to say this out loud, but many live as if that were true", said our visiting pastor on Sunday. On Saturday night I thought where will I go, what will I do and was in the process of making many plans about electives - without much prayer or conscious consideration of God, what would you like me to do?

Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. - James 4:13-17

We come again to this passage in James. We've heard this passage preached so many times that I was honestly surprised by the following insights:

1. The passage is addressed to Christian traders, who live as if their life is their own (instead of belong in to Christ to do his works).

2. We often make plans and resolutions depending on our strength and abilities (assuming that they will do this and that to make money), under the premise that time is in our own hands, that "I can sustain my own life". Such planning leaves no room for God.

3. Guarding against such presumptions - we do this by recognising we do not know what will happen tomorrow, accepting our fragile and transient existence (mist that appears for a little while), and acknowledging it is God who ultimately determines our steps.

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. - Proverbs 16:9

4. However, making plans are not a bad thing - Paul made plans about his ministry, his visitations to the different churches, but he said "I will come back if it is God's will." (Acts 18:21) God-willing. I know a pastor who literally includes that phrase when he makes plans of any sort.

Thank you for the timely reminder. May I remember this when making plans and decisions, big or small.

Flames and burning coal

Once upon a time the highs and lows came in abundance. The excitement of getting to know each other, the conversations that drag late into the night, having (or perceiving to have) so much in common, the fluttering heart and butterflies when you "accidentally" meet each other in the corridor, the ecstasy of just holding hands, and the purring contentment of simply being near the other person. On the other hand there were the tears of parting, even for a ridiculously short period of time, the uncertainty of what he really thinks, and the endless angst of waiting for messages or phone calls. The first flames, infatuations, are deceptive, you're adamant that the person is so perfect when you've only known them for a few days. How hilarious. (It's ok, I'm mocking myself too.)

Familiarity changes relationships - from sweet words to hurtful arguments, admiration to contempt. Fine, let's not be cynical, there are good changes too. The rollercoaster ride of romance turns into a valuable friendship, someone with a deep understanding of your thoughts, feelings, tone and moods.

A parallel to my relationship to God. The first time I started understanding the words of the Bible, saw depth in the layers of meaning, listened to God's words spoken and realised how true! how relevant to everyday life! how wise! - do you know, that was as refreshing, as fascinating as the start of a new relationship. Once in awhile I really saw God's words as his "love letter" to us. The first experiences of God's presence in times of turmoil, opening my eyes to God's grace when I've sinned, experiencing changes in my character that even my family were surprised to see - that left such a deep, moving impression on my spirit.

Yet now, I'm finding the enthusiasm harder to come by. Hate to say it (because it sounds disgustingly arrogant) but sometimes I read and think, well I've only read about the Christmas story, the account of the crucifixion, the letter to the to the Corinthian church like a million zillion times. What can I possibly learn. Then, when I think about which book of the Bible to spend my reading time on I sometimes can't help think - if only there were new books in the Bible I haven't read before, that would be so much more exciting.

I've always loved church and fellowship, and couldn't understand why some Christians avoid it when loving, learning, and serving together with fellow believers is clearly how God wants his family to live. And not only that, meaningful fellowship is such a blessing. Yet this week I thought, I am so tired I don't want to go to church. Why do I have to go. These months I often have problems listening with my heart in sermons because I sigh and think I know this passage well, I've heard the concepts and teachings before. (But yes, as long as I haven't put everything perfectly into practice, I would do well to listen attentively.) Then when I went to fellowship the other day prayer made me groan inside "oh no, why is this so long, boring and repetitive."

What did Jesus say to churches who endured life threatening persecution but lost their "first love"?

You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. - Revelations 2:3-4

I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! - Revelations 3:15

But I know (or doubt sometimes, but I still believe more than I doubt) you are God, you are real, your words have power. I know you give me purpose, joy, mental stability. It troubles me deeply to be lethargic towards something that is my passion, but enthusiastic or not I will try to honour my commitment to you, seeking you as you have sought me.

"We shouldn't expect a relationship with God to remain on a constant plane all the time. Not long ago I celebrated my sixty-fifth wedding anniversary. Believe me, when you've been married that long, you don't stay on a plane of ecstasy all the time. Romance starts as a blazing bonfire - you know, 'You light up my life.' After a few decades it settles into something more like a heap of glowing coals. Sure, some of the heat dissipates, but coals are good, too; you can roast marshmallows, or warm your feet. A different level of companionship opens up." - Vernon, in Prayer by Philip Yancy

Indeed, in front of the fireplace is a good place to start contemplating about the changing flames in a relationship.

Performance and new friends :)

 

(Sorry nothing amazing here, we're all from the beginner's / intermediate classes!)

Previously I mentioned the Lindy Hop lessons I joined. The past 2 weeks has really been an exciting journey, all in preparation for the performance on Monday night. To think, everything for that two and a half minutes on stage! It was physically exhausting but fun to rehearse for hours nearly every second night. To reach home by midnight, sometimes after prata for supper, and then knock out on my bed (but to my horror I still had insomnia over the weekend) and wake up with sore arms, legs and backs. Added bonuses of photo shoot, experimenting with the other girl's extensive collection of make up, and various suppers and talks throughout the process. Ah it was memorable and I'll miss it!

I'm glad to have met all of you. JY for learning to dip and hold properly for Russian kick and not dropping me on the floor, and always prompting us all to go for supper. R & M - one amusing memory is when you two were demonstrating something then JY said "what dance  move is that...? oh you're just holding hands". G & X with your hidden singing talents too. D the cool Asian kid who can't speak Chinese and has smooth hair that a girl would envy. R the big eyed girl from whom I found out a pharmacy course exists at this university. YL, the dancer who reminds me of a Chinese actress and only much later did I find out she too was a medical student! YB, the only girl lead with a magician hat and a pro makeup kit. YT & LT whose names I couldn't figure out which was which until YT did the "eating" hand action. Too bad we've only just met and it's time to say goodbye, thanks for sharing this journey!

Interestingly I also discovered things about hobbies, dance and beauty. That hobbies are good things to share and enjoy in life. Yet if I'm not careful they can take up all of my time and thoughts that I don't seek God as much, and lose focus of my real purpose, and forget how brief life is.

Before I joined dance I prayed and considered how God sees it. You might be surprised to find the number of articles Google finds when you type in dance and Bible. I learnt that "the earth is the Lord's, and everything in it" (1 Cor 10:26) including dance, music and beauty. Yet because of human nature good things are often corrupted - beauty, instead of drawing praise to God's creation, draws people towards sin and obsession. Even in our concert the "costumes" of some dance groups were glaringly provocative that most girls including myself, would instinctively know what exactly a guy would be staring at. Make up and dressing up is fun but to judge beauty only by body shape or physical features, or to pursue it obsessively undoubtedly causes much insecurity, and futility in chasing physical perfection and youth.

Through dance, I understood better the choice and responsibility God gives his children - that in many areas of daily living and hobbies there is no clear do's and don'ts. Rather, "everything is permissible - but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others." (1 Cor 10:23) and we keep in mind that whether we "eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble - whether Jews, Greeks, or the church of God." (1 Cor 10:31-32) For myself and for my brothers, I chose a lively instead of sensual style of dance. Remembering all I do is for the glory of God, I'm also aware not to flirt or seek the attention of guys where I have no intention for a relationship (would be selfish rather than seeking the good of others).

"Yes, the world cheapens and prostitutes beauty, making it all about a perfect figure few women can attain. But Christians minimize beauty, too, or over-spiritualize it" - Stasi Eldredge
 
Remembering that everything on earth is the Lord's also means I can give thanks for the friendships, fun, joy and beauty of dance. Just as I can give thanks for the gift of drawing, and relaxation in playing piano, I can give thanks for the wonder of dancing to the music, being able to jump and turn with improving coordination. That I can smile at the colourful dresses of girls and the suspender costumes for guys. God is the creator of females and our beauty, he is a great artist and the creator of breath-taking scenes like shooting stars. May he be seen and praised when we appreciate beauty, may he be praised and thanked when we dance.

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." - Col 3:17

Death is real

I was watching another one of those stupid zombie shows - movies that make light of killing and death. Soon after heard the news (click for news on TV) of our high school classmate who died in a car crash. Deaths and road accidents here and there every day, but shocking and unreal when it's someone who went to school with, saw daily, talked to, teased, grew up with. One who barely turned 21, attending uni and probably facing exam periods like most of us. How dare death just end everything?

The article disappoints me with it's brief and cold description. Then I'm moved, realising road toll statistics and morbidity data are not mere numbers. Behind each number there is a life, a family, a circle of friends, a story. Disease and death are so de-personalised in medicine. Oh that I would always see life, death, disease as a compassionate human being, not a med student for whom these are simply topics of study.

Only in death do we realise that life is a gift. To all of his classmates and friends, it's a shock that such a thing could happen. Death is real and inevitable, happening to anyone at anytime. Even at the prime of our youth when we feel that we have forever to dream, to pursue interests, to enjoy life. A fear that anyone, even those in our own circles, can be taken without warning. When we consider the end, how does it change our perspective of life? How do we live meaningfully, purposefully? When we dream, have hopes for and plans for the future, for holidays, for travel, career, love, marriage, children... surely we need to be humble in acknowledging we are not in control.

Now listen, you who say "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. (James 4:13-14)

Let's be humble before our Lord God. Let's not pretend that we are gods of our lives, that if we can plan and make our own success, happiness, even meaning.

God, why don't you warn us individually? Why allow such suffering on families, such a heaviness in the hearts of friends? How would I continue to have faith and trust if this was my best friends, my dear family? If such was the case.. I would be mouring and crying out to God in despair and desperation, asking why why why! instead of considering life and existance like this. I believe God grants us wisdom when we ask, but don't think we can ever fully comprehend suffering and death completely. As it is here are my thoughts.

I had a sudden awareness that many of my friends do not know God, with confusion and sorrow I asked: God where is your love and mercy, how can you bear to see anyone perish, why will you not save all?! Then I caught a glimpse of why God's heart yearns for us to turn to him. He does not want to see a single person perish. Yet he gives us free will, to chose how we live our current life, to choose whether we love him and want to spend eternity with him.

How do we know he loves and yearns for us? Before we knew him "everything was done so you would come" - as the lyrics go. God prepared a way for us to be in his holy presence despite us choosing to ignore him, choosing to be our own gods or follow idols like money and power, choosing "freedom" that is actually sin that brings us destruction, choosing blatant evil. That's why Jesus came: "for God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16) He takes no delight in punishing. "As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign Lord, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live." Ezekial 33:11

Death is disruptive, it's unnatural - and was not so before sin came into the world. And God has "set eternity in the hearts of men" (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

For non-Christian friends, do you feel comfortable with the fact that your life will end one day? Do you know where you are going? Do you live in denial of death? Knowing life is brief, is it enough to hedonistically "eat, drink and be merry" and not consider the end?

As Christians, do we truly not only believe, but obey God - loving him with all our heart, strength and mind, and finding ways to serve him wherever we are? And do we have a heart to share with those who have not had the same opportunity to hear the "good news"?

For us all: how will we live purposefully and meaningfully, how will our priorities change, how will we be different to each of our friends and loved ones? Let the death of a friend not be in vain, but touch us deeply, sharpening our perspective and motivate us all to live "better" lives.

edit// here is the more recent, less cold and more human news article

Neopets

Oh! my dear old lover!

Or more like my old addiction. It's a very surreal experience to step into the virtual world you lived in years ago. It started with seeing the websites, blinkies, graphics I used to make. Visited the site, the message boards, the pets, the items, the neopoints.

Some things have changed. Chatspeak is no longer cool, and "being literate", maturity and "15+, 18+, 21+" guilds are in. There is a lot of advertising on the site, and the money hungry website developers schemes to have premium accounts, paid merchandise etc. Fascinating.

However, most things are constant. There are strange disputes over small matters in the message boards, typical young teenage things that we got into back then... The kind of "world" these virtual communities create, with rich and poor, those with power, those with pretty houses and pets, the immature brats and old, "mature" citizens.

I guess it's escapism, and gives everyone an opportunity to own a little kingdom, even if it's virtual. Especially the guilds - recruiting members, organising activities... The status of being a guild leader, a council member, especially of a large, active and prosperous guild - I think I used to have such aspirations. The student organisations at uni are not too different in nature (but are grounded in reality).

I was 13 back then, and anyone above 18 I would wonder at what in the world were they doing, still playing such a game. Now I'm 20, and I myself am the freak, playing the child's game. Though there seems to be a disproportionately large adult population there these days, which is scary.

Nostalgic, slightly, but glad to have gradually lived more and more in the "real world" over the last few years. Glad that I no longer care for pets that don't exist, virtual money, or neofriends - most of whom you talk to for a short while and disappear from your life (with a few exceptions). Now on a journey to learn to care for the people around me, do the work or study God has put before me, use real money wisely.

"Everything is permissible"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible" --but not everything is constructive. - 1 Corinthians 10:23

This is a "believer's freedom" - as the NIV bible titles it. Not talking about blatant sin here. But things not inheritantly evil in themselves - games, surfing, facebook, TV, partying. Freedom is not to do whatever we like, whenever we like. But to be free of those things that have a hold on us, that saturate our minds so that we no longer consider the truly important things in life, no longer strive for growth and understanding in Christ.

In the name of love

It's amazing how love can be twisted. It's amazing how twisted lust is.

In the name of love, David, the man after God's own heart, committed his greatest sin. He found Bathsheba beautiful, slept with her, and she became pregnant. David tried to cover what he had done by calling Bathsheba's husband back from war, and suggesting he should go home to lie with his wife. When that plan failed, David purposely sent him to the frontline of the battle, so that he would be killed. Then he took Bathsheba and married her. (2 Samuel chapter 11)

David's son Amnon fell in love with his beautiful half sister Tamar. He became "frustrated to the point of illness" that "she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her." He pretended to be ill and tricked her to come to him, then grabbed her against her will and slept with her. He then hated her with intense hatred, he hated her more than he had loved her. (2 Samuel chapter 13)

It takes a long and gradual process to see love for what it should be. The world suggests love is about an uncontrollable passion, a thirsting desire and overwhelming emotion. Do we admire a love so great that it will scheme and kill for love without consideration for anyone else? What about a boy and girl who love at first site and can't help but physically express their passion for each other? Unconsciously, are we pleased to see the married woman run away and be reunited with her childhood love? Are these not the heros and heroines we admire in movies, TV dramas and novels? Are these not the lives of our Shakespearean characters Romeo and Juliet, Othello and Desdemona?

In the name of love we sin and accept sin. But feelings and passions should be under the guidance of unselfishness, perserverance, self control and ultimately, holiness. Is that not what distinguishes love and lust?