Photos photos. I must have taken a million but found fault with all of them. It's not that I don't like my face. But the creases, blemishes, panda eyes, the fake or asymmetrical smiles really become quite apparent, and irritating when you stare at the photos for too long, trying to pick a suitable one to work with. Not to worry, you can always fix what you don't like it. Finally, I put my rusty Photoshop skills to use. Why put on make up when you can paint in your make up digitally, for free. Hey, at least I didn't give myself digital plastic surgery.

Yes, how inconvenient, at my age I'm still trying to work out what concealer, foundation, eyeliners, mascara, etc are for, and how to go about painting my face with them, and how can I wear it for a few hours without rubbing them off or onto my face. I've always wanted to be a boy and never worry about these things. And it's sort of embarrasing - guys, it's like being in your mid twenties and not being able to drive a car. Well I suppose my guy friends wouldn't be able to help me out (would be horrified if you offered), and I lack close female friends to consult.

I find it really hard to smile genuinely, taking photos on my own, with a boring white backdrop. No scenery, no mountains, no beach, no cute pets, no cuddly soft toys - just a plain white wall with a grey shadow. But scrolling through the photos, I noticed that in the same place, when we took photos together, my face lit up. Not exactly happier  (okay, maybe on some), but more animated. And literally, the lighting looked brighter in those photos. Or perhaps you're right in saying my face looks prettier because there's something to compare it to, ha, just kidding.



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